


Cupid's Letters

by wylantozier



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Kippen Siblings, M/M, Multi, Side Muffy, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-08-12 02:37:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20130400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wylantozier/pseuds/wylantozier
Summary: Amber and TJ's cat Cupid won't stop staring at the other cat sitting by their neighbours window. Amber decides to communicate to their neighbour through signs in hopes that the two cats can meet. Unbeknownst to them, the neighbours cat is owned by Cyrus Goodman, who just so happened to become TJ’s english project partner.‘Hello neighbour, what is your cat’s name? Love, Cupid.’





	1. Chapter 1

Summer weather crawls over the hills of Shadyside in a flurry of incessant heat, the holidays nearing in the upcoming weeks. Despite the weather, TJ is sat alone inside his small, messy room. Posters covering up as much white of the walls as possible and pictures of friends and family scattered here and there. It’s quiet, only him and his cat, Cupid, were home. TJ got Cupid for his 10th birthday. He’s mostly white with caramel taking up the top of his head and in patches down his back. He’s unbelievably clingy and won’t shut up until he gets his wanted attention, whether it be food, hugs or just to be a pain in the ass.

TJ attempts to play his Beatles record “Let it be”, but Cupid would only push his hand with his head every time he tried to place the needle. 

“Cup, you’re so annoying. You know that right?” He pointedly looks at the cat in an attempt to communicate to the small creature. Cupid only continues to rub his head against his hand, TJ sighs and reluctantly scratches under his chin and then ruffles his fur. “You’re lucky I love you.”

He finally places the needle, making sure ‘The long and winding road’ plays as it’s undoubtedly one of his favourite songs. 

**The long and winding road,**

**That leads to your door,**

**Will never disappear,**

**I've seen that road before,**

**It always leads me here.**

TJ has began to notice that every day when he returned from school, Cupid would be sat by the window gazing out at his neighbours window merely a metre opposite. What does he even look at for long periods of time? TJ doesn't really bother to figure that out, he has other things preoccupying his thoughts.

For starters, his parents arguments have become unbearable. His sister, Amber has started to sleep in TJ’s room at night to just talk about literally anything to drown out the noise and try to fall asleep. TJ can tell it’s breaking her, just by the way her eyes stopped smiling when the yelling was in an audible range. Lately her eyes looked sad. TJ used to see purity and life, now all he sees is dull and empty. Lifeless.

Over the last year, he noticed her bitterness, the way she treated others was far different to what she was like in middle school. She used to be kind and gentle, it’s like she’s lost herself as the house got louder and far more violent. TJ hated that, he hated that his family is falling apart and he can’t do anything about it. He can’t protect Amber, as much as he wanted to, she may be older but he still would put on a big brother act to make her feel safe.

Before he knows it, his record stops playing as it has finished and Amber abruptly opens his bedroom door, distraught evident in her body language and facial features. 

“Ambs, what’s up?” TJ stands up from where he was sitting on his bed, she doesn’t say anything at first. She walks towards him without a single word and lets herself fall back onto his bed. “School work?”

“No,” She scoffs. “I was just at The Spoon. Andi hates me, I’m trying to be friends with her but every time I talk to her she acts so suspicious and like I have alternative motivations. I hate it.”

“Is this Jonah’s girlfriend?” TJ asks, counting the seconds until she starts to rant and rave about Jonah. Jonah this. Jonah that. That’s all he ever hears from her these days. Which is better than speaking of their parents he supposes.

“They’re not together, but yeah I guess,” She huffs, staring up at TJ’s ceiling with a focused glare.

“Weren’t you really rude to her, though?”

“I mean, yeah but I’m really trying to be better. Jonah wants us to be friends,” she explains, finally looking to TJ who is listening attentively. “How are you single? Girls love guys who listen to them talk shit.”

TJ shrugs, laughing quietly. “Just not interested.”

“You’re weird,” Amber says, as if it was a factual statement. “I know girls who are literally obsessed with you, it’s strange because some of them don’t know you’re my brother so they kinda just...say things that I really don’t want to hear. Why are you so liked? I mean...Yeah, you’re the captain of the basketball team but is that really that admirable?”

TJ doesn’t say anything at first, just in case Amber had anything else to say and then finally replies. “Amber, I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t even have that many friends.”

“We’re in the same boat there, Iris is like my only friend at the moment,” Amber pauses, thinking before continuing. “I really like Jonah and his friends. Andi, Buffy and Cyrus seem so tight knit, I wish I had that.”

“I’m sure they would love you if you just keep being kind to them and be yourself,” TJ muses, smiling softly at her. Amber looks up at him again, a small frown on her face.

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, I think so.”

“You don’t even know them...Apart from Buffy, but still,” Amber says to him, sitting up to face him.

“Yeah. Buffy doesn’t love me but we’re cool, I apologised to her not too long ago. She has her team now and I have mine. We’re not as competitive anymore,” TJ explains, Amber hums in acknowledgement. “I know of Cyrus and Andi, but yeah I don’t think they like me either just by what Buffy’s probably told them.”

“If they got to know you, I think they’d love you,” Amber says, smiling reassuringly.

“I don’t mind if they don’t like me, it was expected.”

“Okay. If you say so. Where’s Cups?” Amber asks, changing the course of conversation. TJ points to the window seat, where Cupid is staring out to their neighbours window once again. “What is he staring at?”

TJ shrugs. “Couldn’t tell you.”

Amber stands up from his bed and slowly makes her way to where Cupid is perched. She sits next to him and tries to follow his line of sight. She laughs. “Aw, Cups, are you in love?”

“What?”

“Look, Cupid and the neighbours cat are staring at each other,” She points to the mentioned cat, visible through their neighbours window that appeared to be in someone’s bedroom. 

“That’s so cute,” TJ says, grinning at the two cats. “I wonder what their cat’s called.”

Amber awed at Cupid when he pressed his paw against the window. “Teej, they’re so in love we have to get them to meet!”

“Do we?”

“Yes!”

“Do you realise what that entails?” TJ asks, staring at her pointedly.

Amber stares at him for a moment, confusion written in her furrowed brows. “No?”

“We’ll probably have to say something to the owner,” TJ tells her, she rolls her eyes at that. 

“No, we don’t.”

“What’s your big plan then, huh?”

“Have you seen those videos on Instagram where-”

“I don’t like where this is going,” TJ interrupts her segue of conversation. She huffs, continuing on her tangent despite her brother’s negativity.

“You know those videos where they communicate through signs? Like they write something on a sign and face it towards their neighbours window,” Amber says, visibly excited about her idea.

“So you’re saying you want to talk to our neighbours Taylor Swift ‘You belong with me’ style?” TJ asks blankly. 

Amber grins cheekily. “Exactly!”

“Whatever. You’re doing it as it’s your idea though,” TJ tells her with a sigh, letting his body fall back onto his bed. 

“Fine but it’s your room, so if we get a response you’re in charge.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yep, I’m not going to come into your messy room more than I have to,” Amber scoffs jokingly. It’s TJ’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Fine.”

“Great, what should I say? I need a marker and paper,” Amber says, getting up from his window seat and frantically searching through TJ’s desk.

“Bottom drawer, with the rest of my art supplies.”

Amber looks to TJ who’s staring at the ceiling with a grin on his face. “How was I supposed to know that you’re artsy and have a drawer specifically for artsy things?”

TJ shrugs, despite the fact that Amber wasn’t looking at him anymore. “Thought you knew everything about me.”

“Definitely not, you don’t tell me _anything!_” Amber throws her hands up dramatically, finally finding a piece of paper and a black marker. “Okay, what do we say?”

“This is all you, Ambs.”

Amber groans. “You’re annoying. And no help.” TJ laughs at her frustration, not denying it. 

She continues to write down whatever she was writing before she lifts the piece of paper to face TJ on the bed and smiles triumphantly at her own work.

“‘Hello neighbour, what is your cat’s name? Love, Cupid.’” TJ reads the sign aloud amusedly. “That’s kinda cute. If our neighbours ignore this, they’re officially the worst people ever.”

“Thanks, I know,” Amber quips. “Tape?”

“Middle drawer,” TJ says.

“Thanks,” Amber mumbles as she fumbles with the tape, eventually ripping up a few pieces and proceeds to stick it up on TJ’s window so that it’s facing their neighbours window. “Done!”

“Fantastic! Can you get out now?” TJ says, smiling at Amber innocently as she gives him the bird. “Love you too.”

She pouts. “Darn, I wanted to talk to you about boys.”

“Did you mean Jonah?” TJ teases. She groans and storms out of the room. “Just as I planned.”

“I heard that!” Amber calls out. TJ laughs, smiling fondly to himself. He doesn’t know if he’d be sane without Amber being a small comic relief. 

***

TJ thinks school is possibly the worst place to be right now. Jefferson High, despite being where he’s considered to be well liked by the majority of his classmates due to his basketball captain status, was never a place he felt content nor comfortable. 

Pushing through the front doors is where the recurring sinking in his stomach returns. Amber has already rushed to her group of friends to talk about whatever occurred over her weekend. Maybe even to talk about Jonah. He didn’t pay too much attention as he walks through the crowded halls, all the chatter and laughter melting together into the background of the song playing through his earphones. 

Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The way I feel’ plays in his ears and everything slows down, goosebumps on his arms. As he walks, he keeps up his confident posture, although every step he made didn’t feel real. But he was walking, it wasn’t a personality trait. TJ tries not to overthink his own thinking and finally takes out of his earphones as he approaches the basketball team, they’re all sat around a table in the cafeteria. 

“Hey, what’s up?” TJ greets as he sits in between Connor and Alfie.

“Hey TJ, we’re just talking about the game this friday,” Connor informs him, smiling at him. TJ likes Connor, he’s not too competitive but he’s just as passionate about basketball as the rest of them. 

“We’re versing The Vikings,” Alfie says, TJ nods. He knows who they are, the last time they versed them they won so he wasn’t too worried.

The table of boys continue their own conversations as TJ gets lost in staring into the distance. He glances around the cafeteria, his eyes pausing on a table with Jonah, Andi, Cyrus and Buffy. He doesn’t know how he feels towards the group, especially considering the grief they cause Amber. He watches as Cyrus is explaining some story while gesticulating frantically. TJ smiles to himself unknowingly, trying to guess what he might be talking about. He understands why Amber wants to get in with their group so badly, they’re all smiling at Cyrus and listening attentively, making comments here and there. 

The bell goes and TJ’s stare is broken. The boys all say their goodbyes before scattering off into different directions to get their books for their upcoming periods. TJ made his way to his locker, getting his English and Music books out and placing his bag in his locker. He goes to close his locker when a voice beside him frightens him and he slams it shut.

“Hey, TJ.” It’s Kira. The new girl who seems to feel gravitated towards TJ. He doesn’t know why. Especially considering he doesn’t ever seem to be in a good mood around her.

“Hey, Kira. What’s up?” He says as nonchalantly as he possibly can, she eyes him amusedly. 

“Didn’t know if you check your emails but Mr. Wilson emailed our English class about a partnered project,” Kira states, smiling sweetly up at him. TJ wishes he could melt into the floor and be erased from existence right now.

“Of course we have another fucking partnered project,” TJ scoffs, his tough persona reaching the surface. Kira laughs, it wasn’t supposed to be funny so TJ rolls his eyes as they walk towards their English class. He pushes through the door and there’s only a few students scattered around the class.

TJ sits in his usual seat, feeling rather defeated and Kira decides to sit on his desk. “So, do you wanna partner up?” She asks, her lips pulled into a thin smile. 

TJ freezes up. “Uh, I can’t.”

“Why not?” She asks.

“Because...I’m already going with…” TJ quickly glances around the room, his eyes landing on one of the boys off his basketball team. “Marty!”

“What?”

“I promised Marty I would be with him...in the next partnered project. Sorry.”

“Marty?” She repeats like it’s the most absurd thing she’s ever heard.

“Yep. That’s the one.”

“Okay...” She says, doubt laced in her voice. “That’s fine, I’ll find someone else.”

She walks over to her usual seat and TJ feels the breath he held in his chest escape at her sudden lack of presence. Maybe he should talk to Marty. He looks over to him again, he’s talking to Buffy with Cyrus next to her reading a book. He decides better now than later, when Kira figures out he lied to get out of spending more time with her.

“Hey Marty,” He says once he’s standing in front of his desk. He captures the attention of all three of them, Buffy eyeing him suspiciously, Marty smiling brightly and Cyrus looking up for a second before quickly looking back down at his book.

“Hey Teej,” Marty says. “What’s up?”

“Do you have a partner for this project? I kinda told Kira I was going with you,” TJ says hesitantly. Buffy laughs to herself.

“Why can’t you just tell her you don’t like her?” Buffy questions him amusedly. TJ sighs.

“It’s just...I know she likes me a lot and I can’t just tell her to fuck off. The boys will give me shit for it,” He explains, growing more irritated by the second.

“Yes you can,” Buffy snorts. “There’s a reason she’s not on the girl’s basketball team.”

“Anyways,” Mary interrupts their bickering. “I’m going with Buffy, so I can’t.”

“Shit.”

“But…” Marty says quickly. TJ waits a moment for him to say something. He doesn’t.

“But?” TJ repeats sharply. 

“Cyrus doesn’t have a partner,” Marty grins. Cyrus’ head pops up from his book at the mention of his name. 

“What about me?” Cyrus says, confusion increasing in his features as he notices TJ staring at him with an amused smile. “What’s going on?”

“Cyrus, TJ is going to be your partner. You don’t have to worry about...You know,” Buffy says with a smirk, elbowing him. Cyrus’ eyes widen, his cheeks flushed. 

“Who?” TJ asks curiously.

“Oh, uh, it’s no one, it’s nothing,” Cyrus rushes out. TJ laughs at his blatant lie. 

“He’s talking about Jordan, some girl who’s been trying to ask him out for the past month,” Buffy laughs and Cyrus only grows redder.

“Aw, someone has a crush on Cyrus,” TJ cooes teasingly. Cyrus scrunches his nose up cutely, his cheeks now beat red. Cyrus opens his mouth to speak but then Mr. Wilson enters the classroom, asking everyone to sit in their seats.

Maybe being partnered up with Cyrus Goodman wouldn’t be so bad. 

***

Mr. Wilson went on another rant about some poet who died in war and vaguely explained the project. It consists of researching a poet or author of your choice and then compiling all the research into a format in which you have to present to the class. Hopefully Cyrus has an idea of what to do because TJ’s mind is blank.

The bell goes signalling their next period, and TJ eagerly gets up to make his way to music but is abruptly stopped by someone pulling on his arm. He turns, ready to go off at whoever invaded his personal space until he sees Cyrus Goodman looking up at him, evidently nervous to speak to him. The rest of the students have left the class and left them staring at each other expectantly.

“So, we’re partners,” Cyrus says awkwardly. TJ laughs and Cyrus looks down at his feet shyly, avoiding TJ’s eyes. 

“Yeah we are, I hope that’s okay,” TJ says softly. Cyrus looks up again, visibly relaxing. TJ looks friendly, not like the usual intimidating basketball team captain he sees when he’s with his friends or in the halls. 

“Yeah it is,” Cyrus smiles coyly, “Just wondering how we’re going to do this...”

“We could meet at the Spoon? Maybe this weekend? I have basketball practice Wednesday, Thursday and then a game on Friday,” TJ offers. Cyrus nods not really knowing what else to say.

“Great, see you then,” TJ grins, finally walking out of the classroom leaving a bewildered Cyrus. He feels like his whole perception of TJ has just been thrown out the window. TJ wasn’t mean, he seemed friendly and for some reason that was a huge shock to Cyrus.

On the other hand, TJ is content to get to work with Cyrus rather than Kira. He knows Cyrus is smart and actually knows what he’s doing so he feels better about potentially doing well in this assignment. He just knew he would do all the work if it was with Kira.

Speaking of the devil.

“What took you so long?” Kira appears next to him. She must have been waiting outside the classroom for him.

“Why did you wait? You don’t even have music with me?” TJ asks, avoiding her question. She huffs.

“Dance is on the way, so I just wanted to walk with you,” Kira sighs. “So? What took you so long?”

“I was talking to Cyrus,” TJ says, all emotion absent from his tone.

“Cyrus? Cyrus Goodman?”

“Yes.”

“As in Buffy’s best friend?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you guys hated each other?” Kira asks. TJ stops walking, turning to face her with a speech ready about how what he does and who he talks to isn’t any of her business.

“Buffy and I are cool now.”

“But I’m not cool with her,” She says as if it will change TJ’s mind in any way.

TJ bites his tongue. “Okay, I’m going to class.”


	2. Chapter 2

When TJ arrives home from school, he didn’t know what he expected. Amber is already in her room with her friend, Iris. But other than that, the house is quiet. He decides this was a good time to finish reading his book, he barely got time due to the constant need to have his music playing loudly to drown out his parents. 

He sits on his window seat, laughing to himself as he notices the piece of paper still tapped to his window. Out of sheer curiosity, he glances across to the other window and to his surprise, another piece of paper faces him.

“AMBER!” TJ yells, his eyes glued to the words.

‘Hi Cupid, my name is Aristotle. You’re my best friend :)’ 

He laughs at the name, what sane person names their cat after a philosopher? And the writing is so neat, it even had a little drawing of a cat in the corner. TJ didn’t know what to do with this.

Amber abruptly opens the door, Iris standing beside her awkwardly. “What do you want?” TJ doesn’t say anything, just smiles knowingly. “Oh my god, no way.”

She rushes to the window, letting out a little squeak at the sign facing them. “We have to respond, NOW!”

“With what?”

“Anything! We should meet our neighbour,” Amber says excitedly, biting her lip to contain her smile. Iris watches this all unfold amusedly, not knowing what to say.

“Definitely not, what if it’s a creepy old man?” TJ says seriously. Amber rolls her eyes.

“Whatever, ask the neighbour for their age then,” Amber suggests. TJ thinks for a moment before he gets another piece of paper from his drawer, and picks up the marker on his desk and starts to write.

“What are you writing?” Amber asks curiously, peering over his shoulder. TJ puts the lid of his marker back on and lifts the piece of paper.

It read: ‘Hi Aristotle, I wait by my window for you everyday. Love, Cupid.’

“Cute, but it’s pretty bland. Add some more romance to it,” Amber says.

“They’re cats.”

“And? How does it make their love any different?” Amber huffs. TJ laughs, he finds her hopeless romantic trait to be amusing yet endearing. 

“Fine, what would you write?” TJ sighs, handing her a fresh piece of paper and a marker. She takes it determinedly with a mischievous grin.

“Maybe, instead of making Cup sound like a stalker...” She says, biting her tongue mid sentence as she writes on the paper. “...Finish it with a compliment.”

She lifts the paper proudly. ‘Hi Aristotle, I think you’re cute :) - Love, Cupid.’

“Fine,” TJ sighs. “That is a lot better. And cuter.”

“Ha, I know. Honestly why aren’t I called Cupid?” She grins, Iris laughs softly.

“Because you’re called Amber,” TJ deadpans.

“Smartass.”

“And what about it?” TJ smiles teasingly. Amber huffs frustratedly. 

“You’re annoying,” Amber states. She pivots on her heels to head to the door. “Come on, Iris. Let's get out of here before we die from whatever disease lives in his room. Iris gives TJ a shy smile, blushing slightly when he returns the smiles and follows Amber out of the room. Odd.

TJ takes one more glance at the writing on the other window before he sticks up the new piece of paper. He takes the old one and puts it in his top drawer. Maybe one day, this will all just be a really good memory that leads to something much bigger. 

***

It’s a Thursday morning. TJ’s group of friends are rowdy. They’re filling the cafeteria with loud laughter and hollers as they’re all anticipating for the game tomorrow. Meanwhile, TJ is silently sitting with his thoughts. He smiles to himself, thinking about his neighbours new sign he discovered this morning that read ‘I think you’re even cuter, maybe even purr-fect - Love, Aristotle.’

He didn’t know how to respond to that, other than with an equally bad pun ‘That pun was a cat-astrophe - Love, Cupid.’ 

Maybe he was curious to know the identity of his neighbour now. Although, he worries it might ruin the mystery and fun to it. 

“TJ, what do you think?” Kyle interrupts his train of thought. He realises that his whole team is looking at him expectantly with menacing grins.

“What?”

“Kira, she has the hots for you,” Kyle says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe it is.

“And?”

“And? She’s hot, why haven’t you made a move yet?” Kyle asks, the whole team make a comment or noise of agreement.

“Just not interested. She’s clingy,” TJ reasons indifferently.

"What about any other girls?" Kyle asks instead.

"Like I said, I'm not interested. Stop asking. Even if I was interested in someone I wouldn't tell anyone."

“Are you gay or something?” Another teammate, Jason, calls out.

“What? No!” TJ says rather defensively. 

“You could literally have any girl you want and yet, you still haven’t made a move on any of them,” Jason scoffs.

“Can you shut the fuck up?” TJ snaps. The team goes silent. “Stop pestering me, you don’t know what I do. I’ve probably hooked up with more girls than you, Jason.”

The team breaks out into a fit of laughter, shoving Jason playfully and TJ rolls his eyes. He’s surrounded by idiots. No wonder Marty doesn’t sit with the team anymore.

He puts in his earphones and Stevie Nicks’ ‘Blue Lamp’ is already playing. TJ finds himself staring out at Andi’s group of friends again, Marty staring at Buffy with what can only be described as heart eyes and Cyrus, Andi and Buffy laughing hysterically. 

He understands Amber’s envy now more than ever. 

***

TJ is early to English. Actually, he’s the first one there. He really wasn’t in the mood to see Kira after what went down with his team before school. He didn’t even want to refer to them as his friends anymore. There’s laughter walking through the doorway, TJ looks up at Marty and Buffy, their sides pressed together and their cheeks a dusty pink.

“Hey Marty, Buffy,” TJ calls out to them, they both look at him. Buffy raises an eyebrow.

“You’re early,” She says suspiciously. TJ shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Didn’t really feel like Kira this early in the morning.”

Buffy laughs, finally approaching TJ who’s sat on his desk. “Fair enough.”

“You know you could sit with us at lunch, I kinda overheard what happened earlier,” Marty offers, ignoring Buffy’s confused facial expressions.

“That sounds good but I think if I sat anywhere else, they would kill me,” TJ tells him sadly. “Maybe another time.”

“Alright but we would love you to sit with us whenever you like,” Marty grins. Buffy looks stunned at what is unfolding in front of her.

“Thanks, that sounds good,” TJ smiles, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Not sure about that Buffy though.”

“I’m right here,” Buffy huffs.

“That was the point,” TJ snickers. She rolls her eyes.

“You and Amber would get along, you both do that every time I speak,” TJ quips. This time Buffy genuinely laughs.

Mr Wilson arrives early for once, telling Buffy and Marty to take a seat as other students began to roll in. “Everyone just work on your projects for the lesson, I have essays to mark.”

“Classic Mr Wilson,” TJ mumbles under his breath. 

“Always leaving everything to the last minute,” A voice beside him chirps. TJ jumps slightly, turning to see Cyrus smiling shyly at him. _When did he get there?_

“You know, sometimes I think he doesn’t properly mark them because I get the best grades in this class,” TJ jokes. Cyrus frowns at his negative outlook. 

“Or...you’re just good at English!” Cyrus suggests, smiling gently. TJ can’t contain the smile he tried to bite down. 

“Maybe,” TJ says coyly.

“So, uh should we figure out what author we’re going to do?” Cyrus asks, opening his laptop to possibly search for ideas. TJ shrugs, despite the fact that Cyrus isn’t looking at him. He’s so shy that he barely looks at him. TJ hates it.

“Wilfred Owen?” TJ suggests indifferently.

“The war poet? The one who died exactly a week before the war ended?” Cyrus responds enthusiastically. TJ tries not to smile at the sudden disappearance of his bashfulness. 

“Yeah, that’s the one. You know your stuff,” TJ says, mildly impressed. “What about Allen Ginsberg.”

“Oh! I like his stuff,” Cyrus grins excitedly. “One of my favourite movies is based on his life.”

TJ watches Cyrus as he rambles about the mentioned movie. He doesn’t really remember what it was called but all he knew was that he couldn’t stop smiling at the boy who he’s barely heard speak, now go on a tangent about something he’s passionate about. 

“We should see it sometime!” Cyrus suggests excitedly.

“What?” TJ says dumbly. Cyrus’ face falls.

“I mean, if you want to...Sorry, we’re not even friends,” Cyrus tries to backtrack but TJ smiles at him softly, trying to give him reassurance. 

“No, it’s just I kinda got distracted by your method of storytelling and didn’t process anything,” TJ tells him truthfully. Cyrus smiles weakly, evidently embarrassed.

“Sorry, I tend to be a bit much and when I get excited, I can’t shut up,” Cyrus apologises, looking down at his hands that sat in his lap.

“It’s okay, I like it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I like listening,” TJ tells him. Cyrus lets out a small sigh, smiling to himself before turning back to his laptop.

“Edgar Allen Poe? What about him?”

“Maybe but I bet someone else will do him.”

“True. How about Walt Whitman?”

“I’ve heard of him, don’t think I know any of his stuff though,” TJ hums, watching amusedly as Cyrus’ expression transitions into a look of disbelief. “So, it’ll be cool to research someone I don’t really know.”

“I can’t believe you don’t know who he is,” Cyrus gasps dramatically.

“Well, I will soon,” TJ says nonchalantly with a hint of a smile. 

“I have a lot to show you,” Cyrus announces, looking back at his screen with a focused glare. His brows are tightly knitted together and his lips pulled into a thin line.

TJ opens his own laptop up, searching up Walt Whitman. He was an American poet and journalist. He was a part of the transition between transcendentalism and realism, in which were terms TJ initially didn’t understand but after a quick google search he mildly got an understanding of the poet. 

TJ learns that he loves his poetry after only reading a few, some poems he feels are words he wishes he could’ve put together.

_“In the confusion we stay with each other, happy to be together, speaking without uttering a single word.”_  
_— Walt Whitman_

***

TJ finds it difficult to control his team throughout their training session, the boys mucking around every so often and then eventually just throwing things at each other. TJ sits training out for today, despite the fact they have a game tomorrow. He watches as they make an attempt at going through their drills but it doesn’t last long until they’re pushing and shoving. 

TJ eventually stands up, approaching his team. “Okay guys, I think we’ll end training here for today.”

“Why we ending it early?” Connor asks. “We still have another 20 minutes.”

“None of you are focusing, we might just have to run some quick drills before the game tomorrow and hope for the best,” TJ explains tonelessly. The boys don’t seem too bothered by his instructions as they all head to locker rooms. Marty waits behind, looking at TJ expectantly. 

TJ begins to follow the rest of the team, Marty walking beside him. “Rough training session, aye?”

“You think?” TJ remarks, more sharply than he intended.

“They’re a difficult bunch to control, I get why you’re in a pissy mood.”

“I’m not in a pissy mood!” TJ yells defensively. Marty raises his eyebrows at him with an evident smirk that said ‘you sure about that?’. TJ rolls his eyes.

“Sorry,” TJ sighs. “It’s just...I have a lot going on right now.”

“TJ, you know you can talk to me right?” Marty smiles reassuringly. “I’m here for you.”

They enter the change room and their conversation goes quiet. TJ ends it with a: “I’ll talk to you later.” Marty nods.

“Hey captain, have you gotten with Kira yet?” It’s Kyle. Who else?

TJ can’t believe this conversation is happening. Again. Marty looks at him sympathetically. It makes him want to punch a wall, he doesn’t need anyone’s pity. He can handle himself.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because, I just haven’t.”

“Do you realise how many guys wish they were in your position?” Kyle scoffs.

“Does it look like I care?” TJ snaps back.

“Are you actually a fa-”

“Shut up, Kyle,” Marty interrupts before the slur fully leaves his mouth. TJ can hear his heart beating in his ears.

“Marty, I wasn’t talking to you,” Kyle growls, slowly approaching him and backing him up against a locker. TJ is frozen in place, unable to move or speak.

“And no one wants to hear the shit that comes out of your mouth,” Marty spits. “I’m doing everyone here a favour.”

Kyle grabs Marty’s shirt into his fists, pushing him up against the locker vigorously. The boys around them go dead silent. The tension in the room is close to unbearable.

“Hey, Kyle! Cut it out,” TJ shouts, pushing Kyle away from Marty. “Leave this bullshit out of the team. Got it?”

Kyle sighs and nods reluctantly before walking back to where he was changing out of his gym clothes.

“Hey TJ,” Marty says quietly from beside him. TJ hums in response, quickly scanning the room to see all the boys were preoccupied with their own conversation.

“You don’t have to date Kira if you don’t want to,” He tells him. TJ has the urge to roll his eyes.

“Just leave it, Marty. I'll do what I want.”

“Okay,” Marty replies quietly. “Just...if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.”


	3. Chapter 3

‘Hey! Don’t be a copycat, puns are my thing - Love, Aristotle.’

TJ couldn’t stop smiling. He hasn’t told Amber about the last few signs, talking to his neighbour through his cat is something that brought even a small ounce of joy to his life. He enjoys spending long periods of time on figuring out what to respond with.

Today, he goes with: ‘I’m sorry, please fur-give me. - Love, Cupid.’

Despite the whole neighbour situation, his team won the game even with the rocky training session the day before. To say he is on a high right now would be an understatement.

Amber pokes her head through the door. “Hello my darling brother. Wanna go to the spoon to celebrate? I’m starving and Mom and Dad aren’t here.”

“Where are they?” TJ asks with a hint of concern.

Amber shrugs. “I don’t know, they just left.”

“Again?”

“Yeah,” Amber smiles sadly. “But hey, you won your game! Let’s go treat ourselves.”

“Yeah, okay,” TJ sighs. Amber cheers triumphantly, running over to him and pulling him up from his window seat by his arm and rushing out of the house, her hand wrapped tightly around his wrist.

“So, before we enter,” Amber says as they’re nearing the spoon in which is only a couple blocks down from their home. “Andi and her friends are going to be there.”

“Is this what it was all about?” TJ asks amusedly. “You don’t care that my team won, do you?” 

Amber bites her lip, trying to hide her smile. “Maybe.”

“Right, so what’s the big plan, Ambs?” TJ asks. They reach the door to the spoon, she looks at him with a mix of excitement and pure dread.

“Just help me if I mess up,” She pleads. TJ nods, giving her a smile before opening the door and giving her a gentle push at the small of her back.

They both enter, ‘Andi and friends’ immersed in their conversation. TJ notices Cyrus is there and decides he should probably organise an assignment session with him for the weekend. 

When Amber doesn’t move, he guides her determinedly yet not forcefully and walks them over to the group.

“Hey guys,” TJ says, obtaining the attention of the whole table. “Mind if we join?”

A chorus of sure’s come their way and TJ gives Amber a reassuring smile as they go to sit down with the group. TJ takes a seat next to Cyrus, he looks at him wide eyed as if he didn’t expect him to sit there.

“Hope it’s okay, that I sit here,” TJ says quietly. Cyrus quickly nods, forcing a nervous smile. What happened to the Cyrus that couldn’t stop talking?

TJ glances around the table, Amber seems to be mid conversation with Andi and to TJ’s surprise, it appears to be friendly. Marty, Buffy and Jonah are discussing something to do with Buffy’s upcoming game next week. And then there’s Cyrus, happy to just listen along and make comments here and there.

“Do you still wanna go to the spoon together this weekend?” TJ is the one to break the silence between them. Cyrus turns to him, his eyebrows furrowed like he didn’t understand the question.

“To work on our assignment,” TJ clarifies, smiling.

“Oh! Right, yeah, I can tomorrow? Maybe we can get lunch and work on it then?” Cyrus suggests excitedly.

“Sounds good,” TJ grins, ruffling Cyrus’ hair playfully. Cyrus pouts dramatically, attempting to fix his hair. 

TJ’s attention is diverted to the door by the bell signalling someone has walked in and of course, it’s Kira. Who else? It’s like she senses every time he’s in a good mood so she can swoop in and ruin it.

“Guys, it’s Kira. Hide me,” TJ whispers loudly to the group. Everyone’s head turns to the door without any subtlety. He has to fight the urge to roll his eyes.

“Get under the table!” Marty whispers back just as loud.

“What? No,” TJ is baffled by the suggestion but as Kira looks around the room, he decides desperate times call for desperate measures. “Fine, cover me.”

He slides under the table and everyone around the table makes sure to extend their legs so he’s more hidden. He thinks he can hear Kira approaching, this is further backed up by Buffy saying rather bluntly “TJ is fucked.”

“Hey Amber, have you seen TJ?” Her voice asks.

“Nope, why would I?” She responds tonelessly.

“You’re his sister?”

“And?”

“Whatever, just tell him to text me,” Kira huffs.

“He doesn’t have your number,” Amber snickers, the rest of the table laughing quietly along with her. He doesn’t hear Kira respond, too distracted by how disgusting the floor is under the table. He feels Amber kick him and lets out a quiet yelp. He assumes it’s safe to come back up.

“Holy shit, that was close,” TJ sighs as he resurfaces, a little out of breath. “The floor is actually the most feral thing I’ve ever come to contact with.”

“Why do you talk like an angry Mom?” Amber asks amusedly, the rest of the table agrees in amusement. Even Cyrus.

“I do not,” TJ whines. 

“Whatever you say,” Andi giggles, leaning into Amber as they both laugh. TJ smiles at that. 

“Thank you guys for helping anyways.”

“No worries, I would want the same if I was in your position,” Buffy grins teasingly.

“What’s with you and Kira, anyways?” Andi asks curiously.

“She’s just clingy and she got all pissy with me for talking to Cyrus once.”

Cyrus perks up at the mention of his name

“What? Why me?” He asks incredulously.

TJ shrugs. “I guess because you’re best friends with Buffy?”

Buffy almost gasps. “Excuse me? She’s pissed at you...for talking to Cyrus...Because of me?”

“Yup.”

“Oh god,” Cyrus whispers quietly beside him.

“I can’t believe her,” Buffy sneers, Marty tries to calm her by rubbing her back soothingly. It doesn’t work. “What did she say?”

“She was like, why are you talking to Buffy’s best friend? I thought you hated her, and I said I’m cool with her and then she said well I’m not,” TJ explains, irritation in his tone as he remembers what went down. “So I walked away. Who I talk to is none of her business.”

Buffy’s face softens. “Oh, that’s great TJ. I’m really glad you didn’t let her get to you.”

“Thanks,” TJ smiles softly. “I’m not going to change who I talk to because of her.”

“That’s great, TJ,” Andi smiles sweetly.

“Thank you,” Cyrus says quietly, intended for only TJ to hear. He feels warmth blossom from his cheeks to his toes.

Amber smiles at TJ, in a way of showing her gratitude. He could tell she really wanted to fit in with this group, which to her seemed almost impossible. TJ knows they will love her. 

The group fell into a more casual conversation, about what they have planned for the weekend, Amber says she’s working and Andi promises she’ll come and visit. Marty and Buffy say they have to go and work on their projects this afternoon as they’re both busy for the weekend. That leaves Andi, Jonah, Cyrus, Amber and TJ.

Jonah and Andi appear to be close as well, with the way they lean into each other and look at each other every time something funny is said. It’s almost cute. Until TJ notices Amber looks as if she’s fighting to keep Andi’s attention or maybe keep her away from Jonah. It makes his stomach squirm and his fists clench like a protective reflex. 

He’s so caught up in the scene unfolding in front of him he almost doesn’t notice the absence beside him until the bell by the door diverts his attention to the door to see Cyrus leaving the Spoon without a word. TJ decides to follow, just in case there’s something wrong. As he stands up, Amber gives him a pleading look as if to say please don’t leave me alone with them.

“Bye guys, I gotta visit work and pick up some things,” TJ lies smoothly. Amber looks hopeless and it almost makes TJ break but he can always consol her tonight. Someone else is more urgently in need right now.

“Bye, TJ!” Andi says cheerily, quickly resuming her conversation with Jonah. TJ looks at Amber apologetically before he leaves.

He pushes through the front door, almost rushing out. He looks around the streets, searching for where Cyrus might’ve gone and quickly spots him heading in a beeline to the park. TJ runs across the street, catching up rather easily as Cyrus’ walk is slow paced. Nearing closer to him, Cyrus appears to look hunched and defeated. 

Cyrus is completely unaware of TJ approaching and flinches when a warm hand catches his arm, and there’s a soft ‘hey’ in his ear.

Cyrus turns slowly. TJ still has a grip on his arm, and he’s smiling at him unsurely. Cyrus’ cheeks are flushed and his eyes are rimmed with red. TJ has an odd urge to hug him.

“Where are you going?”

Cyrus pulls his arm away. “To the swings.”

He turns to go, but TJ stumbles in front of him and puts a hand on his chest. “Hey, hey, wait! Are you okay? We were having fun at the spoon, weren’t we?”

“You were,” Cyrus mutters before he can stop himself, and he instantly reels away. “I’m fine, just feel sick.”

“Can I join you on the swings?” TJ asks timidly, trying to break the uncomfortable tension between them. Cyrus shrugs, continuing his way to the swings. TJ follows silently, just in case Cyrus changes his mind. 

When Cyrus takes a seat on the swing, he blatantly pretends TJ isn’t there and stares ahead as he only just barely swings back and forth. TJ takes a seat on the swing next to him, the chain’s cold on his hands.

“You know it’s funner to actually swing,” TJ comments teasingly. Cyrus rolls his eyes.

“Funner isn’t a word,” He responds dryly.

“Okay, what’s going on? You were fine back at the Spoon,” TJ leans his head on the chain, looking at Cyrus expectantly. 

Cyrus sighs defeatedly. “It’s really stupid.”

“Try me.”

“Fine,” Cyrus mumbles, kicking the dirt at his feet. “I got jealous.”

“Of?”

Cyrus finally turns to look at TJ with pleading eyes, planting his feet on the ground. “Please don’t make me say it.”

“Andi and Jonah,” TJ says, Cyrus doesn’t say anything but TJ knows he doesn’t have to. There’s a silence. “That’s okay. It’s okay, it’s normal.”

“Is it though?” Cyrus’ eyes go back to his feet as he swings a little. 

“Yes,” TJ smiles reassuringly. “I get jealous, too.”

Cyrus sighs sadly. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then, what did you mean?” TJ asks slowly. Cyrus inhales sharply. “You don’t have to, I mean, only if you want to.”

“It’s okay,” Cyrus swings a little, his fists turning white from the tight grip he has on the chains. “It’s not that I’m jealous, I know that’s normal. It’s just...Nevermind.”

“Do you like Andi?” TJ asks.

“Oh no...God no,” Cyrus splutters a laugh. “Definitely not.”

TJ smiles, although he’s left confused. What did Cyrus consider not to be normal? And what is he jealous of?

“I’m confused,” TJ confesses. Cyrus laughs again. “What did I say?”

“Nothing,” Cyrus giggles, now smiling at TJ. “I think it’s better that you stay confused.”

TJ pouts. “I don’t like being confused.”

“Oh well,” Cyrus shrugs, grinning menacingly. “I said too much already.”

“I’m glad you could feel like you could say anything at all,” TJ says gently. Cyrus’ smile slowly falls. 

“Thanks, TJ,” Cyrus almost whispers, avoiding TJ’s concerned eyes. “But...Why are you here? Why did you follow me?”

“I don’t know,” TJ breathes out. When he swallows the lump in his throat he catches Cyrus’ eyes. They’re bright in the evening light. “I saw you leave and I just had the urge to follow you, help you.”

“I’m not a charity case,” Cyrus sighs. TJ frowns, he feels a pang in his chest.

“I like the way you talk,” TJ says suddenly, and Cyrus blinks, his slight swinging coming to a halt.

“What?” He says, too sharp, too bitter.

“I like the way you ramble whenever you’re passionate about something,” TJ says, lips quirking. 

“You don’t even know me,” Cyrus says. “You have to talk to me because you got stuck with me for an English project.”

“I want to,” TJ says. “I like making new friends.”

“You’re friends with like everyone,” Cyrus says indifferently.

“You don’t know me,” TJ says with a purposed smile. “Everyone is boring and mean.”

“Oh?” Cyrus laughs. “We’re all boring and mean, are we?”

“Everyone _else_,” TJ says with a grin.

“You’re ridiculous,” Cyrus says, because he is.

“Thanks,” TJ responds, smiling smugly. 

TJ swings slowly beside Cyrus in content. Not a word being spoken. It reminds him of that poem Cyrus showed him in class the other day for their assignment.

_In the confusion we stay with each other, happy to be together, speaking without uttering a single word._

***

“What the fuck, TJ,” Amber says as she enters his room. He expected this to happen.

“What’s up?” TJ says nonchalantly, pretending as if he didn’t leave his sister to suffer in a third wheel situation. 

“What’s up? _What’s up?_ Are you fucking joking?” She scoffs, planting herself at the foot of his bed. He’s lying on his bed, his book now lying down on his chest as he stares down at his sister amusedly.

“Sorry?” TJ laughs awkwardly.

“Shut up and explain yourself,” She demands, slamming her hand down on the bed.

TJ puts his book to the side, sitting himself up. He knows he’s in for a long conversation. “I went to see if Cyrus was alright.”

“Huh?”

“Did you even notice? He literally left the Spoon like a fucking ninja,” TJ explains dramatically. Amber’s face falls a little, her expression softening.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” TJ sighs. “He was upset, he was jealous. Just like you.”

“He likes Andi?” Amber questions sharply, her tone almost unreadable.

“No!”

“Then what is he jealous of?”

“Why do you expect me to know! Maybe he’s lonely, all of his friends are coupled up,” TJ suggests with a tired shrug. 

Amber thinks for a moment, she hums after a while with a small knowing smile. “Maybe.”

“Anyways, how did it go?” TJ asks slowly.

Amber shrugs. “Andi seems like she doesn’t hate me anymore. They all seem to love you.”

“Nah.”

“Yeah...They literally covered for you when Kira showed up,” Amber points out.

“They would’ve done the same for you, you’re being dramatic,” TJ snorts. “Plus, I can tell they all like you too. They were laughing at almost everything you said.”

“Yeah, because half the time I was making fun of you,” Amber huffs.

“What can I say? I’m just comedy material,” TJ grins, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“Ew, please stop that. I hate you,” Amber pretends to gag. TJ laughs.

“Okay, but seriously, did you have a good time?” TJ asks.

“I did,” She smiles. “Until you went running for Cyrus.” 

“Don’t think I didn’t see you and Andi,” TJ comments back. Amber’s eyes widen and she looks flushed.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asks defensively. 

TJ snorts. “Nothing. Just that you two were literally all over each other.”

“No we weren’t,” She says quietly. “She’s just naturally affectionate.”

“But you’re not.”

“Whatever, I just want to fit in with them, okay?” Amber retorts, irritation evident in her skittish moments.

“Okay,” TJ says softly. “Do you know when Mom and Dad are coming home?”

Amber shrugs. “I know as much as you do.”

TJ pulls his lips into a thin line, his Mom promised to watch his game but she went out of our town leaving a note with leftover food in the fridge. No one ever knows how long his Dad will be gone, he’s always on business trips. Maybe that’s for the best. 

“You tired?” TJ asks, Amber nods lazily. “We should get some sleep, you got anything happening tomorrow?”

“Work at 8,” She sighs tiredly. “You?”

“I’ll see you there, I’m working on a partner project with Cyrus around 12.”

“What for?”

“English.”

“Of course, Mr Wilson and his partner projects,” She laughs softly. TJ smiles at her, humming in agreement. “How come you partnered up with Cyrus though? I didn’t know you were friends.”

“We weren’t. Kira asked to go with me, so I told her I was going with Marty. But Marty was going with Buffy, so Marty said I should go with Cyrus. And anyone was better than Kira at that point,” TJ explains.

“That sounds like a mess,” Amber giggles.

“It was,” TJ grins. “But Cyrus is actually pretty cool. I’m glad I got partnered with him.”

“That’s great, TJ,” Amber smiles. “I’m gonna go to bed now though, I’ll regret it in the morning if I don’t.”

TJ smiles up at her as she gets up to leave. “Goodnight Ambs, see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight Teej,” She says. And then she’s gone. Things seem to be alright, and he’s okay with that. Amber seems happier than she usually is and that’s all he could ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> this will be updated chapter by chapter, i just wanted to publish something to get people to see it and anticipate for each chapter! if you wants updates or have questions i'll be active on @kippenbyers on twitter so follow me/message me there to see when i will update!!


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